It rhymes with “thespian,” which is, indisputably, one of the most obnoxious ways to describe a person. It is simultaneously pretentious and tongue-in-cheek .
Other identities have dynamic alternate meanings/connotations:
Gay = Joyous, Happy
Queer = Odd, Interesting, Strange, Intriguing
Bi = Duality, Of Two Properties/Identities
Trans = In motion, transition, someone traveling
Lesbian = a Midwestern city, AKA Lesbian, Ohio
Just kidding. Lesbian, Ohio doesn’t exist. But that’s how i think of the word.
Etymology: I’m actually not far off. The word “Lesbian” is derived from a place—the literal meaning is a resident of the Isle of Lesbos, a Greek Island. It comes from the poetry of Sappho, a female resident of the island who wrote a bunch of sexy poems about other women. Which is cool—but at the same time, I stand by that fact that it is an ugly word. Prior to common use (1800s or even the 1970s), women who loved other women were described as “sapphic.”
I like that it comes from a writer, but it doesn’t have any of the emotional connotations the other identities have. Lesbian sounds like the brand name of a vitamin supplement (as in, “I need to add my lesbian powder to my morning shake).
New Name Requirements:
Needs to be one syllable—lesbian sounds like a like of freshwater fish and lesbo is so awful. It’s like the name of a jetski brand.
Preferable the vowel sound “oo” should be in it. That is a feminine and soft sound. Also, the word “moon” has that “oo” sound, and women are associated with the moon/all things lunar, so I like that. “Womb” also has that “oo” sound, but we can’t go around calling lesbians a bunch of wombs. (“Boob” and “cooch” also have that same sound, but are eliminated for the same reason as “womb”…also telling that morons are sometimes called “boobs.” Rude.
Bad suggestions: true, lunar, bloom, loop, root
…I will continue to think…
Oh, I suppose I'm also a little bothered that I get called something that first of all, doesn’t accurately describe me, and second of all, sounds like the name for a specific piece of horse tack (“You hook the lesbian behind the bit on the outside of the bridle.”)